Q&A: Time for family during the PhD
I recently received the following question from a reader:
Hey! Interesting schedule… But, when do you make time for family & friends, maybe for a romantic relationship? Do you feel that close relationships will be an obstacle to your academic work?
I am currently doing my PhD and I heavily rely on a the patience and support of my partner, my family and my friends. But I struggle with making time for working during the weekends or going to the gym more often.
Do you think one can have a academic careers or doing their PhD very well and maintain a satisfying social life?
My quick reply at that time was:
During my PhD I was in a long-distance relationship with my then-partner now-husband. I took all my holidays to travel and go to see him, but during the stretches of separation I usually just focused on work. Most of my social interactions took place in the lab and during work hours. My family was in Belgium, so I would travel once every 2 or 3 weeks to go see them (initially every weekend, but the long drive started to wear me down).
Let me expand a little bit, and also give my 2 cents based on my current experience:
when do you make time for family & friends, maybe for a romantic relationship?
As I mentioned, during my PhD, I’d hang out with my family and my then-partner now-husband for only certain stretches of time (weekend, trip to visit). At this moment, the long-distance years are long since behind us, and we have a one-year-old child. I am spending much more time with my family. My afternoons are reserved for my baby (I work a split shift typically), and my weekends are family time. When possible, my husband and I have a cup of tea in the evening together to unwind and talk.
Do you feel that close relationships will be an obstacle to your academic work?
On the contrary, you need a good support network. Don’t isolate yourself, but remember to have fun regularly.
I struggle with making time for working during the weekends or going to the gym more often.
Spoiler alert: you don’t have to work during the weekends. If it doesn’t work for you, and you get your work done during the week, then no need to work on the weekend. As for the gym, you can try out going in the morning before work, or during your lunch break. Would that work for you?
Do you think one can have a academic careers or doing their PhD very well and maintain a satisfying social life?
Absolutely – I think it’s important. As I said before, you need a strong support network, so you need your social life. It also helps to take some distance from your research every now and then – you’ll return to it with renewed energy and more creativity.
Share with your peers!