A bit more about dealing with rejections

In July, I wrote about the rejection of a large proposal that had taken me 340 hours (of my one, precious, unique life) to put together, and how I felt about it at the time. In the mean time, I’ve racked up a few more rejected proposals, and a few more paper rejections to add to the mix.

If you’re in academia, rejection is not just a possibility; it’s a constant companion. At times, it can feel like the only thing more certain than deadlines is the quiet ping of a rejection email. But let’s face it: we can’t sit there indefinitely sobbing into our espressos (allow me one day though for the heartfelt sobbing into my double espresso).

Rejection stings, of course it does. You poured energy, time, and a fair amount of your soul into a piece of work; only to be told it’s not quite good enough. So how do we deal with this without losing our minds or motivation? Here is how I deal with the hammer of rejection:

• Have your support squad ready. Surround yourself with friends who get it. The ones who will listen to your rant, nod sympathetically, and then crack a joke with you to get your mind off your failure.
• Allow yourself a fixed wallow time. Yes, you’re allowed to feel bad. Take an afternoon to wallow properly (and sob into your espresso if you need, or curse like a pirate – I won’t judge). But once that time’s up, it’s back to business.
• Once wallow time ends, draw up your battle plan. What will you do next? Resubmit the grant proposal to a different call? Improve the paper and send it to another journal? The key is to move, not freeze.
• Understand the competitive nature of academia. You’re not alone. Everyone you admire has been rejected (probably this week). Academia is a high-rejection environment. The more you submit, the more you’re likely to hear “no,” and paradoxically, the closer you get to that long-awaited “yes.”
• Detach your worth from the outcome. A rejection doesn’t mean your research is worthless or your ideas lack merit. Often, it’s timing, fit, the insane competitiveness of the call, or simply the preferences of a particular reviewer. Your value as a hooman is not tied to the evaluations you receive on your work.
• Keep track of your submissions (and rejections). Not just for logistical purposes, but to remind yourself that you are putting yourself out there (and to list all the work you’ve done for your annual performance review). Over time, the pattern will show progress, even if it doesn’t always feel that way in the moment.

Rejection is a good chunk of the process. It’s where you learn, recalibrate, and grow academic skin. So next time that rejection email lands, take your wallow time, lean on your people, and then get back up. Revise. Resubmit. Repeat.

You’ve got this. Even when academia tells you “no,” remember: your perseverance says “watch me.”

How do you deal with rejections?